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I am sorry,
I don't really mean to be mean, but I don't know why
there is a transformation that happens.

I know you love to whisper the three magic words, over and over again, you are like enchanted, engulfed into the magic of them, and you try to recreate the magic for me.

But tell you what sweetheart, that is the most magical thing about magic, it can't be created, it either is born at the first twinkle of the eye or its just an illusion that we carry all our lives.

Tell me something, are we really mean to people who love us like hell. Does the surety that we will be loved in the face of anything and everything bring out the worst in us.

At times to see if its true and at others out of the bold crazy confidence. Oracles through the ages have professed that love ought to beget nothing but love. Tell me is that true? You certainly must have an idea...

They say love is the most basic thing, the most primary the most primitive, but then why is so complicated then, why then it ain't the easiest thing on the face of earth, and yes why doesn't it always lead to gaiety, laughter, surprises.

I know you love me, lots and lots and lots. Honey promise me you shall some day bring me the answer to these questions. Your princess has just lost her way into the jungle.
I wonder if price charmings do actually gallop in on their white horses
or is that we discover them, at times somewhere in the jungle and at others as the faithful companion treading the jungle alongside...........

Dawns and dusks

The fog was so thick we could barely see ten feet before us. The familiar surroundings looked as if enveloped in a ghostly aura all around them. The chill was fresh and welcome and we continued our stroll down the hillock.

There is something about walks that is very special, be it a solitary one where one is surrounded by thoughts, ideas and memories or the ones where we have company, company to share the long strides uphill, the lazy walk downhill, the fresh air, the various sights and sounds.

We moved at a leisurely pace, at times rubbing our hands for the elusive warmth at others puffing our way up. I blew smoke rings and smiled at myself, another of the reasons i love winters, it kind of brings the non-smokers at par to the smokers.

Not really in a mood to lose the value of the enchanting morning we walked silently. But then with people you are in total harmony silence too has a rhythm. The strides, the gait, the pace, the nature all around doesn't really leave any need or space for conversation.

The road like any other road just went on and on, at times I wish life could be one long winding road, enveloped in a foggy morning that just refuses to finish. Mind you the road and the morning, both of them.

When I was a little girl I was always scared of nights, I not very sure what but there was something that just used to scare me to bits. I just wished that night never comes about, when I grew a lil bit and realised that it was inevitable then all I wished was that the night passed away quickly giving way to mornings and a silent prayer against being left all alone one dark night, ever in my life.

That childhood feeling kinda made mornings more special, the days when I fail to wake up early, I feel there is something that I have missed, As if the day has been incomplete, without its soul.

A really optimistic friend of mine send me a forward one day which read something like '' God loves a a lot cause he gifts us one grand morning every day.'' How very true.

I wonder what we would have done had we not have mornings to fall back upon. They come as a fresh new start, a new stride, a obvious and the most natural genuine try. No wonder how bad the day has been tomorrow would most certainly be a new day. When we wake up the biggest if fights, fears, tragedies, mind you still remain but in some divine fashion we are detached from them. They are no longer right there throttling us to death. There is a night between them. The gravity may remain but the actual event is past and a series of nights and more nights make it a distant memory a phantom lurking somewhere in the shadows.

A very famous saying in Hindi goes like this, ''raat gayi baat gayi'' and how true. When the night comes forward to put the lid, it becomes much more easy to throw mud over it, turn around and walk away.....

The host and the 'hosted'

Something twirls all around me. Not really sure what, something like a money plant that needs support, but does the creeper know that its sapping its host of strength, hiding the host away from public eye, interfering with the sunlight meant for it.

But thatz how God decided creepers ought to be. Doing all this to extract their life strength.
Creepers live off the host, but is it all that they are about, is there anything else to them......

The one who says that he muses without a muse is a plain simple liar!

Hey tell me something, you lied to me then dint you. You think m too small, too immature to understand things. Even if i grow up i will still be immature as compared to you, hai na. You laughed when i said that, You know what I had actually believed that you genuinely found the concept funny, but now i realise that it was not the concept but me, or rather the irony of the fact that certain things of meant for certain people but some other person mistakes it for himself/herself.

You must have been really amused na! Well nice to know that i amused you for that one moment. You know what, this is the last time I will ever write for you. I felt bad, tremendously, you could have told me then and there that it ain't meant for you baby, it is someone else that i am trying to reach out to. i don't know why you don't tell me things frankly, do you think i am not mature enough to take it, well. you know every time i come to realise something like this, in the harder way, the not-so-straight way i get matured, much more and much more painfully that it ought to be.

they say you cannot hold someones love against them, believe i won't too, whatever it is, whoever it is, but then don't you think i deserve to know things in plain and simple terms. i know i do, you might not tell me but i do and that is fair enough.

Take care, the best of my wishes are for you.